Title: The Lovely Bones
Author: Alice Sebold
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
File Size: 433 KB
Print Length: 352 pages
Availability: Kindle | Print
Genre: Literary Fiction

Blurb:
When we first meet 14-year-old Susie Salmon, she is already in heaven. This was before milk carton photos and public service announcements, she tells us; back in 1973, when Susie mysteriously disappeared, people still believed these things didn’t happen. In the sweet, untroubled voice of a precocious teenage girl, Susie relates the awful events of her death and her own adjustment to the strange new place she finds herself. It looks a lot like her school playground, with the good kind of swing sets. With love, longing, and a growing understanding, Susie watches her family as they cope with their grief, her father embarks on a search for the killer, her sister undertakes a feat of amazing daring, her little brother builds a fort in her honor and begin the difficult process of healing. In the hands of a brilliant novelist, this story of seemingly unbearable tragedy is transformed into a suspenseful and touching story about family, memory, love, heaven, and living.

My Thoughts:
I had high hopes for this one, but I just couldn’t finish it. The pacing was so inconsistent, that I found myself bored and skimming whole pages. What started with impact fizzled too quickly and my attention wandered, ultimately leaving me with a strong sense of detachment – I couldn’t feel anything for the characters or their situation anymore, not even for Susie, the victim of a horrible rape and murder. In the end, I wasn’t willing to keep plodding through it, so I put it down about halfway through. This definitely wasn’t the read for me.

ETA:
Since writing the above review, I have read other reviewers, on Amazon and on Goodreads, who did finish the book and provided spoilers for the ending. I am relieved that I didn’t make it that far because that type of ending would have left me feeling angry and disgusted. I am so glad I didn’t stick around long enough for all that.

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Title: Fire Burn and Couldron Bubble
Series: Jolie Wilkins #1
Author: H.P. Mallory
Source:: Smashwords
* I received this book free of charge in exchange for an honest review.
Purchase This Book: Smashwords | Kindle Edition
More Info/Reviews: Goodreads
Genre: Contemporary Paranormal Romance

The Blurb:

A self-deprecating witch with the unique ability to reanimate the dead. A dangerously handsome warlock torn between being her boss and her would-be lover. A six hundred year old English vampire with his own agenda; one that includes an appetite for witches. The Underworld in a state of chaos. Let the games begin.

My Thoughts:

I had a lot of trouble with this book and I’ve been mulling over this review for quite awhile now. To be completely honest, I didn’t finish it. I stopped after a few chapters when I realised I’d covered my Sony’s screen in handwritten chicken scratch on nearly every page and the story had not gotten anywhere yet. I was very hopeful about this book, especially after reading so many 4 and 5-star reviews on Amazon and Smashwords. Since I didn’t finish the book, I can’t say much about the story as a whole, but I will say that what I did read was quite flawed. There’s dialogue and exposition that does nothing to further the characters or the plot. I know that Jolie has a wire wastepaper basket and a cuckoo clock in her office, but I know next to nothing about Jolie herself, what she does, or what the deal is with Rand the warlock. I know that there was a car accident in front of Jolie’s shop, that Jolie and her best friend are in business together and are having money troubles, and that they both love Starbucks’ coffee. What I don’t know is where the story was going with all that. From other reviews I’ve read, it’s possible that the book improved somewhere past the point where I stopped reading, but I just wasn’t willing to struggle any further with it.

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

But don’t just take my word for it:

3 Stars from Sandra
4.5 Stars from Wicked Lil Pixie

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Book Description: There is a place hidden away in Cornwall, unremarkable from the outside. But enter and you will discover a haven for the most daring of pleasure seekers . . . and for every husband and wife willing to indulge their most intimate fantasies. Three bold and sizzling tales of Victorian passion, lust, and ecstasy from a modern master of sensuous love.

Review: The book is a collection of three novellas, each about a different couple going through some sort of estrangement/whatever. All of the stories revolve around the same house in Cornwall, a sort of “couples retreat”. All of the heroines showed some spunk at the start of each story, but quickly lost what backbone they had once the sex started. Two of the three heroes were complete asshats! The one I hated the most cheated on his wife all the time and when his wife shows up to stop him, he accuses her of “ruining his fun” then forces her to give him oral sex. After all the hell he puts her through, she realizes in the end that she never really hated him, she just loved him too much. It’s like the second he gives her an orgasm for the first time, everything is all forgiven and they go on to have lots of kinky sex. There was nothing sexy about anything in the book. It was rather crude, bordering more on porn than erotica. I ended up taking the thing back to the store for a refund.

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